@letsgetgizzy: Walked up to 2 guys talking business and told them "get a conference room!"
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@DeanB15: Straight guys on twitter, If you haven't been hit on by a gay guy on here take a long look at yourself & figure out what's wrong with you.
@Beardson: These people are putting up 'Lost Parrot' signs for the sake of their kids, but you'd think they'd place them higher for other birds to see.
@jazmasta: *i get on a rollercoaster with my washing machine* "Hold tight son...WAIT! If u are here then.." *son is at home w/ a mouth full of laundry*
@briangaar: Son, that bear is more afraid of you than you are of ... oh wow, that bear is being really brave right now.