@letsgetgizzy: Walked up to 2 guys talking business and told them "get a conference room!"
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@InternetHippo: GOD: Peter, you will be heaven’s bouncer ST PETER: What the hell, I don’t want— ST BERNARD (whispering): Shut up or he’ll make you a dog
@Cherbearxo: I promised my trainer that I'd set a gym schedule I would commit to regularly. So, now every time there's a lunar eclipse I work out.
@SortaBad: Probably the worst part about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute