@letsgetgizzy: Walked up to 2 guys talking business and told them "get a conference room!"
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@Reverend_Scott: Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy.
@OnceUponALiz: If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again.
@jonnysun: *stares at phone* why cant i sleep *puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brigtness bathes my room in a light mor powerfubl than the sun* oh
@PwrFulWmn: You attract more men when you smell like butter, sautéed ham and onions than any expensive perfume.