@iQuoteComedy: Walking around the kitchen like Pac-Man when you're hungry.
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@dave_cactus: ME: I had to fix dad's computer after the power surge. HER: Motherboard? ME: No, she was watching TV.
@therealeatwood: Did you know that according to FDA regulations a goblin can be labeled as a hobgoblin even if it contains only 3% hob
@BlondAmbitionTO: On dates, if a man says the past tense of "see" as "I seen" instead of "I saw," I go to the bathroom and climb out the window.