@LindaInDisguise: Walking into WalMart with my kids, "Remember, kids - use your Target voices."
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@daemonic3: [spelling bee] Your word is 'embarrassing' "Oh I don't mind, you can say it" No, it's really 'embarrassing' "Ok, I promise not to laugh"
@ehchino: "What is your reason for divorce?" She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'
@JohnLyonTweets: I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.