@LindaInDisguise: Walking into WalMart with my kids, "Remember, kids - use your Target voices."
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@ag_loco: How to keep a man happy: 1) Phone him 86 times a day 2) Wail hysterically 3) Be needy 4) Never sleep with him 5) Buy yourself shoes
@Tommytoughstuff: *pulls away from kissing* JUDGE: That was unexpected and kind of nice, but you're still guilty.
@SufficientCharm: That burrito didn't agree with me. And then I was like "Why am I arguing with a burrito?!"