@Springaling85: Walking up to guys with girls with them and saying "you never called! Our son is 5 now" then walk away....always brightens my day
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@better_off_dad: Doctor: What seems to be th- Me: -Medicinal marijuana! Doc: I'm sorry? Me: Let's start with the answer, then work on the problem, ok?
@TastyTuneTweets: Idea: ATM that sends you encouraging messages like "You Can Do it" or "Ramen Noodles Aren't So Bad" when you check your sad Account Balance
@WilliamAder: Invited a homeless guy to Thanksgiving dinner this morning, so when he shows up at your place, let him in.