@WarningPuzzle: *walks into bar with camera*
Me: Can I take a shot of this glass?
Bartender: Take a pitcher, it'll last longer
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@bacon_gillepic: Person: you only live once Me: that is the best news I've heard all day
@BradBroaddus: It's hard to tweet and change the baby's diaper at the same time.nnI probably should have waited until I got to a red light.
@Swishergirl24: Officer: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pass Officer: have you been drinking? Me: pass Officer: You can't just keep.. Me: pass
@2tickytacky: Got my inhaler mixed up with my psychedelic frog and went on one hell of a wheezy ride.
@Sickayduh: "Nice place!" Mmmehh "Hungry?" Mmmehh "You look nice." Mmmehh "DO I EVEN MAKE YOU HAPPY?!?" Mmmehh "Mom told me not to date a goat."
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