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@AmericanGent69: *Walks into brothel*
One chicken soup to go please
@thatstings: Since twitter, I don't go from home to car to work to car to home
I go from charger to charger to charger to charger to charger
@causticbob: Its funny how your parents tell you its their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.
@_NTFG_: Sit down and let me tell you a story.
Once Upon A Time......last night......I had a few drinks and......borrowed your credit card.
@WillSaysStuff: I'd pray to God to help me with my overbearing KFC addiction, but seeing as the Colonel is my God, I can see that being counter-intuitive.
@beefman138: A coworker just complained that nobody was talking to her and I really wish I had her kind of problems.