@carlyken: *walks into work 20 minutes late*
*boss glares at me*
"Sorry. Traffic."
*boss gestures to my Starbucks cup*
"Oh this? I found it."
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@motorace177: I'm looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
@Adar79Angie: I'm still waiting for my knight in shining sarcasm.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: "Frozen" is on TV! Me: We have it on DVD. And Blu-ray. And digital download. 4: Yeah, but this one is on right now.
@trevso_electric: Be a deer and get shot in the woods for me?
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