@FilthyRichmond: Walmart's hair salon doesn't charge extra to cut a live bat out of your hair.
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@Eatingmeals: One time I did mushrooms and played GTA and felt regret for the lives I was taking I was all "Holy shit these people have families"
@walruslifestyle: you cannot glue a tomato back together with tomato paste believe me I've tried
@TheCatWhisprer: You can tell a lot about a person based on what they use as a gender-neutral singular pronoun.
@myonlymizztake: When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.