@EamonToPlease: Walnuts make my every cookie a game of Minesweeper.
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@rocknthepurple: I'm just a girl, standing in front of half a pizza thinking it's been long enough since I ate the 1st half to consider this a different meal
@Dana_Bruno: Wasn't wearing my glasses at the park and bent down to pet some guy's gym bag. How's your night going?!
@ericsshadow: [wife checking on me and the kids] Hello "I called the house, you didn't answer." I went out. "Ok. Well how have they been?" How's who been?