@EamonToPlease: Walnuts make my every cookie a game of Minesweeper.
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@UnFitz: I give everyone nicknames because using real names is for people who can remember people's names.
@LindaInDisguise: After sitting in the labor and delivery waiting room chairs for 12 hours, I need an epidural as much as those women in labor do.
@theprojectclub: Dad, how comes my sister is called Teresa?" "Because your mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter" "Thanks dad" "No problem Alan"