@EamonToPlease: Walnuts make my every cookie a game of Minesweeper.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MatCro: "Pete's coming for dinner tonight." "Pete from work or Pete who thinks he can walk through doors?" [Massive thud] "I'll just check."
@thenatewolf: *holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again.
@noogscorner: A young Lil' Wayne sits alone typing lyrics into Word 97 when a cartoon paperclip suddenly appears on-screen. [Did you mean "digger"?]