@itrevormoore: Wanna feel old? Helium formed for the first time 13.8 billions years ago.
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@Vivalazoso: The only thing keeping me from cutting eye holes in a newspaper to spy on people in the coffee shop is my constant lack of scissors.
@silent_musings: Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
@mattvbrady: im about to go on a date. im sure it will be perfectly normal and wont go viral or anything...
@jonnysun: when u get caugt lying on ur resume but u still try to convince the interviewer that ur qualified for the job