@itrevormoore: Wanna feel old? Helium formed for the first time 13.8 billions years ago.
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@robdelaney: Enrages me when I see guys using cute dogs to pick up chicks. It's like, why did I have kids.
@Dadpression: Before I had a child, I never knew that quietly disposing of a balloon could feel so much like a murder.
@botandy: 9 out of 10 archaeologists agree, the 10th one should not have uttered incantations to unlock the cursed bonds holding that Sumerian daemon