@DiscoFruit: wanna feel old? this is eminem now:
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@SortaBad: "Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows
@Love_bug1016: Gentle reminder to send that good morning text so she doesn't have to draw on her angry eyebrows.
@curlycomedy: When people write, "your dumb," maybe it's not a typo--they just mean stupidity belongs to you. "Here's your dumb now leave."
@Whymze: [pulls out acoustic guitar at a funeral] alright everyone stop being all [finger quotes] sad this next 1 is dedicated to a very sexy widow.