@DiscoFruit: wanna feel old? this is eminem now:
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@daemonic3: [helping kid w/math] What is 0.1 as a fraction? "One tenth?" Good, now what does 10% mean? "Battery low, plug in your phone?" Perfect
@ItalianBratikus: When I get calls from unknown numbers I panic, decline and then wait for the voicemail like I'm about to be murdered.
@FrakkingAwesome: The trick to free lunches is to tell your friend "you get this one, I'll get the next 1" and then never see them again and make new friends.