@ExitThaWarrior: Wanna freak people out? Lick your fingertips when you finish pumping gas.
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@1Happytwit: It's not about the sacrifices you have to make, it's about making sure your knife is sharp and they can't wiggle away.
@lwhit_the_boss: If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us
@VodkaThursday: If you don't like my selfies, maybe you shouldn't have such a beautiful friend. Maybe you aren't ready to handle that kind of responsibility
@OBiiieeee: girls love us tall guys but as soon as we use our height to "constantly slam dunk on them and their loved ones" they stop replying to texts