@patrickmarkryan: "Wanna go camping?" "No thanks, I have a house."
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@OrangeFact: [Court] ME: You expect us to believe your alibi — that everybody’d gone surfin’? Surfin’ USA? BEACH BOYS: *sweating* Y-yeah ME: Then how do you explain this?! *I hold up a picture showing that everybody was kung-fu fighting*
@iamspacegirl: Ranger Station BOSS: I have reports that you treat the wildlife inappropriately ME: No way *porcupine waddles by w/ kebabs on each quill*
@gwatts77: Judging by how all of these ladies tweet about cucumbers I'm pretty sure size does matter because I never see them tweeting about carrots :(
@seriouslyemily: Dipping your cats in blue paint and watching them chase each other is 1000x more entertaining than Avatar.