@patrickmarkryan: "Wanna go camping?" "No thanks, I have a house."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MentalAbortions: Why would I want to quit smoking? Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer?
@RexHuppke: Interestingly, if we invade North Korea because it caused us to miss a movie, that still won't be the worst reason we ever went to war.
@NicCageMatch: Just saw a girl wearing a "BAD GAL" t-shirt so I yelled "NO!" & smacked her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
@errdayhustlah: Whenever people say "don't judge me" I like to imagine them in the weird wigs British judges wear. *whispers* Judged you.