@FierceMess: Wanna live a long life? Get married. I guarantee you'll change your mind real quick.
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@GreenishDuck: You're on your deathbed. You gather the strength to utter your last words "Boxers with pockets," you say. "You'll never have to wear pants."
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Eat your vegetables. They make you smarter. 3-year-old: *hands me a carrot* You need this more than I do.
@hazelmotes1: You literally misuse the word "literally" every time you say it. And I figuratively want to punch you in the face. Literally.