@GrillinChillin9: Want to feel old? Have a kid ask you why it's called "rolling down the car window" when all you do is press a button.
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@Home_Halfway: *KNOCK KNOCK* OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE "What do you want?" YOU'RE UNDER ARRES- "No." ..NO?? "No, I don't want to be." *whispers* Shit now what
@TheRealHoff10: People keep asking me today "So you have a new boss?" No, I'm still with my wife.
@KalvinMacleod: I've got good news and bad news. The good news is this tweet is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing.