@PaulyPeligroso: Want to get really stoned? Commit adultery in Iran.
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@MomOfTeen: For Mother's Day, I told my teens, I'm going to reenact every detail of each of your births.
@SteveKoehler22: Why do they say "break a leg !" to actors ? If you said "tear an ACL !" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot.
@IwanWil: I'm getting really good at this parenting thing. I just secretly ate 3 oreos while my kids were in the same room.