@funnyordie: Want to make a nerd's head explode? Go to any site that posted the new Star Wars trailer & write "Where's Captain Kirk?" in the comments.
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@Storminika: I walked past a lady in her car with convertible down. She locked the door out of fear. So I smacked her in the back of the head & ran way
@stephenjmolloy: Dude: You got a light? Me: Sure. *hand him a flashlight* Dude: I mean for my cigarette. Me: Yeah, he can use it.
@upsidedowntrash: ME: [outlining corpse] I need other chalk CHIEF: Just use white M: Permission to speak freely C: Go on M: How can I draw the hair w/o yellow
@jonnysun: *wakes up before alarm goes off* please be 5am please be 5am *checks time* 2:34pm, februrary 25, 2054. NOOOOOOOOO