@funnyordie: Want to make a nerd's head explode? Go to any site that posted the new Star Wars trailer & write "Where's Captain Kirk?" in the comments.
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@Dani_Feld: Me: Can I have a Batmobile? Santa: Be realistic. Me: Ok, pass my Masters & get a good job? Santa: I'll leave the Batmobile in the garage.
@jenlaw_11: And satan said "let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you" and it was so
@ksujulie: Ice cream employee: I didn't know you had kids! You always come in by yourself. Kids: WHAT?! MOM! It's like she didn't want a tip.