@ooforth: Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought a android Ipad.
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@hyperblastchic: I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. No YOU'VE been drinking.
@KalvinMacleod: When my wife tells me to wear sunscreen and I refuse to listen, it shows that I am my own man who is badly sunburned.
@ItsDanSheehan: When a zoo animal dies they always call it "beloved" or a "crowd favorite" like there's some animal named "Jimmy the zebra everyone hates"