@hippocroteez: WANTED: Good looking girl to jog in front of me while I run. Can't be fast.
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@foxnerdrn: I feel like my parents grossly overstated the number of times I'd be offered candy by strangers.
@SamuelHLowe: My trainer said with enough sacrificing I could get a 6-pack. He's full of shit & I have 4 dead goats & 17 decapitated chickens to prove it.
@NotthatAdamWest: I don't know, Jay-Z. If I was worth half a billion dollars, I'd have like 3 problems. Max.
@WorkingMom86: My son got very excited about all the toys he found when I cleaned behind the couch, I should have waited till Christmas morning to do that