@hippocroteez: WANTED: Good looking girl to jog in front of me while I run. Can't be fast.
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@imagine_vegas: If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
@MongooseMayhem: Let's play hide and sex. I mean seek. Damn it. Seek. Unless you're okay with hide and sex. I'll meet you in the hall closet in one minute.
@Ristolable: A person on this website accused me of writing "a thousand bad jokes" and I was like wow that's a weird way to say you like 7000 of my jokes
@pstamato: Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation.