@momopface: WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You're an adult" every few minutes.
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@ManiacallySound: I seruptitously flicked a booger on a guy who was being mean to his wife. If this is what being a sniper feels like, I like it.
@dlockw21: Currently on minute 137 of Easy~Bake Oven cupcakes. I'll be live Tweeting their status as they crisp up over the next day or two.
@bourgeoisalien: Who cares if you have regrets on your death bed. You're about to die. I have regret everyday and have like another 40 years of this garbage
@HolycrapitsaKat: No thanks "protected account". You can't trick me into following you! For all I know, you could be a vegan.