@momopface: WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You're an adult" every few minutes.
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@Prof_Hinkley: I wonder how long the first person to deliver twins waited before they realized that was the last one
@jordan_stratton: COACH: You miss 100% of the shots you take. ME: You mean, don't take? COACH: No. You are, by far, the worst athlete I have ever seen.
@JediGigi: If I wear a wizard hat and robe to my cousin's wedding this weekend, I bet no one asks me if I'm next.