@RidiculousSheri: WARNING: I WILL NOT STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND BUT I MIGHT STEAL YOUR CAT
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@thatUPSdude: I don't believe in mythical creatures like dragons, unicorns, Lock Ness Monster, drama free women. Just joking, I believe in Nessie.
@NikkiGlaser: I held a baby today. I was scared it would make me want a baby, but it just made me want to be a baby.
@rorynotroy: id be so offended if a group of ppl just rolled through my room on safari rn as im lounging in bed and just pointed at me and took pictures
@DaveTheAlbino: Batman had the bat signal. If you need to get my attention, hold a Roast Beef Sandwich over a floor lamp and aim it at my apartment.