@RidiculousSheri: WARNING: I WILL NOT STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND BUT I MIGHT STEAL YOUR CAT
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@UNTRESOR: You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry and never go clothes shopping when you're naked.
@Bagyants: Power Rangers taught me that the way to solve a problem is to pose in front of it aggressively until it explodes
@LittleLostLad: Kevin Spacey ordering a takeaway coffee from Starbucks and receiving the cup with 'Kevin E' written on the side.
@Brampersandon_: WIFE: what's the name of that girl you work with? ME: which girl? WIFE: the pretty one ME: I feel like this is a trap