@UnicornSyrup: WARNING: If someone sends a link to download the new Nickelback single, DON'T CLICK ON IT! It's a link to download the new Nickelback single
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@ItsLaTourette: I heard girls like guys that are mysterious so I just put a fog machine under my bed
@MadamBetteNoire: Teaching your kids to question everything is important. Until you're sitting there banging your head on the table.
@IGotsSmarts: Everybody wants to change the world, but no one can find a diaper that's big enough.
@DillDoes: [god inventing animals] okay here's a new one. It's an umbrella "okay" made out of jello "alright" and it electrocutes things "you're drunk"