@Black__Elvis: WARNING: KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN- DO NOT STAND TOO CLOSE TO THEM, THEY ARE GROSS AND WILL ASK YOU FOR STUFF
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@MrsMikePatton: My boyfriend got pissed because I didn't swallow. Is it my fault I have a nut allergy?
@HeyZeus666: My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
@TheQuietPsycho: That moment where you playfully punch a kid in the grocery store, and only afterwards realize it wasn't yours.
@robfee: Past elections: Which candidate will most improve our country? 2016 election: Which candidate is least likely to start The Purge?