@Black__Elvis: WARNING: KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN- DO NOT STAND TOO CLOSE TO THEM, THEY ARE GROSS AND WILL ASK YOU FOR STUFF
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@truegritrumble: ME: This is my newborn, straight from the hospital. OTHER PARENT: You're parenting wrong.
@envydatropic: Something touched my leg while in the ocean and apparently I can walk on water now
@Fred_Delicious: [sex addiction group] "Hi, my name is Fred, and as I've got a saxophone in my hand it's fair to assume I misread the ad"