@1_swarthy_dude: Warning: objects in your rear may feel larger than they they appear.
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@BCMontgo: [concert venue] Manager: Start the fog machine! Me: *gulps* Fog? *hundreds of frogs start falling on crowd
@jergarl: The Wizard of Oz is my favorite children's book that teaches us that it's ok to steal shoes from someone as long as they're dead.
@Brampersandon_: OCTOPUS: *places tentacle on Bible* JUDGE: Do u swear to tell the truth? O: Yes BAILIFF: *spends like 8 minutes trying to get Bible unstuck*