@1_swarthy_dude: Warning: objects in your rear may feel larger than they they appear.
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@Elizasoul80: Him: I wonder if this dealership is open. Me: Are you stupid? The parking lot is full.
@Yair_Rosenberg: Twitter makes possible so many amazing things we couldn't do before. Like trolling the Nazis:
@tastefactory: "What're you in for?" "I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it." "We've all been there, brother."