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Drinking before pregnancy can cause pregnancy.
@ItsDumbTweets: 😂 wtf
@caperbc75: First off I want to commend you for taking part in credit counselling. Now, under assets you wrote "like an onion". Can you clarify?
@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: What are you doing?
ME: IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
WIFE: You're teaching the dog karate?
ME: Then it's exactly what it looks like.
@Owl_Meat: captain: enemy sub approaching, activate the sauna
1st mate: dont you mean sonar
captain (already in towel): full steam ahead
@MableGertrude: It's funny how you become mom's new favorite when your sibling is in jail.