@cpsemple: Warring nations should hurl their politicians at each other.
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@JVarsityCaptain: My ex can't take his new girlfriend to basketball games because she gets pissed when the whole stadium makes fun of her by yelling REBOUND!
@jharden21: Me as a news anchor: an explosion at a nearby t-shirt warehouse resulted in thousands of *turns head to other camera* casual tee casualties
@dixinormus10: I didn't think it was possible to travel 10 years back in time until I got into an argument with my wife.
@xofreckles: Once, I got pulled over because a cop thought my car was on fire but really it was just my hair flying out the sunroof.