@cpsemple: Warring nations should hurl their politicians at each other.
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@iLikeCatShirts: Boss: what should we call the lower cabinet in the corner that swivels? Bonnie (who hates Susan): I have an idea.
@Audenary: *notices ham sandwich while searching inside myself* 'wait, if that's here' *son opens lunchbox to find debilitating existential malaise*
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: What's your phone number? *looks up from phone* Me: I don't have a phone. *looks down at phone* Coworker....