@cpsemple: Warring nations should hurl their politicians at each other.
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@causticbob: "Susan, will you marry me?" "Oh yes Johnny, yes! Yes!" Ten grand later and it's still the best prank I ever pulled on my twin brother.
@WilliamAder: Been trying to pair my new phone with the Bluetooth in the car and I think it's easier to get pandas to mate.
@VaguelyFunnyDan: Had no idea why my salad was $175, 'til the waiter explained that they only use Beets by Dre.