@Kirangandhi: Was feeling particularly adventorous today.so decided to jump off a moving train.now hav to buy my nephew a new train set
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@ArfMeasures: ME: The kids have ruined their shoes WIFE: Again? [sighs] Just throw them out [Later] ME: Stop crying kids, your mum says you have to leave
@AristotlesNZ: Car broke down. Seen enough Man vs Wild to survive. 20mins later when the tow truck showed up I was drinking urine out of a poodle's skull.
@TheReal_AndyMac: Someone once asked me if I was drunk. I said yes. That was the shortest job interview I've ever had.
@Kyle_Lippert: EMOTICON GUIDE :) I'm happy ;) Having a seizure. Still happy :/ Having a stroke. Not happy :( I'm a grouper .) Lost an eye. Still happy