@WilliamAder: Was going to rob a bank today, but the pen was chained to the desk.
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@candace_9871: I hope I never have to produce an alibi...cause eating salsa in bed with my cat every night would never hold up in court.
@eddiesnextwife: My ice maker broke and now I have to make ice, in trays. I'll be on Pinterest looking for a recipe.
@WilliamAder: I guess the guy who named the space between stuff in the universe "space" was just tired.
@AristotlesNZ: The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass.