@SonofConway: Was gonna go to the gym but then I checked Twitter. In 2009
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@Sarcasticsapien: This world would be a much better place if some people's mothers would've just had a headache.
@IamEnidColeslaw: if Lindsay Lohan can call herself an artist, I can call myself a german shepherd
@MelvinofYork: I saw a lady at work today doing “breathing exercises” and realized for the first time how lucky I was that breathing came naturally to me.