@SonofConway: Was gonna go to the gym but then I checked Twitter. In 2009
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@UghNotAgain: Husbands. Can't live with 'em but have to take out the garbage and pay for everything without them.
@Audenary: ME: Who is your favourite philosopher? PROFESSOR: It's Hume. ME: Sorry - whom is your favourite philosopher?
@thetigersez: Don't even talk to me until I've had my coffee. *never drinks coffee again* This is nice.
@living_marble: Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.