@SonofConway: Was gonna go to the gym but then I checked Twitter. In 2009
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@SondraDeeMe: PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!
@sarahyehia82: Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
@TheDreamGhoul: if u think ur house is haunted get a cat. whooshing sound? it's the cat. hear footsteps? def the cat. unseen being devouring your soul? cat.