@living_marble: Was it something I said?
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@P_o_n_k: FRIEND: Is something wrong? ME: Listen...[trying to sweeten the blow]...I think we should put sugar in this cocaine
@EndhooS: [Job interview] Me: [thinking] I hope he doesn't notice the mustard on my shirt Interviewer: [thinking] Is he eating a fkn hotdog?
@Coolisiana: (Ad for a baby) • gently used • can't even kill you • doesn't shed • poops on a learning curve • goes from 0-60 in roughly 60 years