@SaraESpivey: Was just in an elevator with my ex, so I stopped at every floor to show him he was wrong on so many levels.
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@kwkorpi: Son hunted 4 part of our family dinner 2night! With steady nerve & calm focus, he tracked down the hot dog buns for us at the grocery store.
@AngelaEhh: Bartender: What can I get you? Me: Sex, beards, rock & roll? Bartender: Me: Sparkling vampire crazy about me? Bartender: Me: Beer.
@AndyAsAdjective: [1st date] WAITER: and how would you like your steak, miss? HER: definitely not wooden *winks across table* DRACULA: *just glares at her*