@TweetPotato314: was listening to the very hungry caterpillar audiobook in my car and accidentally spent $174.09 at the drive-thru
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@KylePlantEmoji: Me [drunk]: gimme a bloody mary Employee: sir, this is a haunted house Me: m'bad. Gimme a bloody mary bloody mary bloody mary
@robfee: I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass.
@shkeeber: I'm sorry I burned down your house, but the Mythbusters told me not to try it at home and you should really lock your doors when you go out.