Was standing in my front yard this evening and some neighborhood kids tried to deflate me.

@PJTLynch: Announcer: "Welcome to the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show. Are you ready to rock?!" [crowd goes nuts] A: "Well too bad, here's Coldplay"

1

@_youhadonejob1: They’ll be astounded.

1

@stewnami: I'm fat, so when I get mad, I get massive aggressive.

1

@Sir_Strange: Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.

42

@The1WhosCrazy: The walk of shame: When you toss a paper ball in trash, miss, then have to go get it.

1

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