@NJPsychDoc: Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
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@Midgetspar: After 9 months and 347 pics of you being pregnant you REALLY only need to post one pic of the baby as proof. We believe you.
@sofarrsogud: My therapist advised me to feed and water my kids and cook my plants 3 meals a day. And something about listening.
@ruinedpicnic: [puts scarf on snowman] Girl: to keep u warm Snowman: I am made of snow. G: omg you're alive! S: ok but lets get past that. are you stupid
@nbadag: DEMON: [roars] KNEEL, MORTAL—IT IS I, BAELROTH THE SPOON-HIDER ME: omg what're u gonna do to me? DEMON: were—were you not listening just now