@LurkAtHomeMom: Watch closely as the husband quietly approaches the calm children, riles them up into a frenzy, then slyly escapes to watch football.
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@davidkenny100: About to hit the ball Boss: you said you'd played before? Me: uh yes Boss: that's a putter Me: Is that wrong? Boss: wrong for squash yes
@dietredbull: it's gotta be as much fun for a slinky to go down an escalator as it is for a human to walk on a treadmill
@Reverend_Scott: Ok doc, give it to me straight. "It's cancer" How bad? "Really bad, you have 2 months." OMG "APRIL FOOLS!" Whew- "You have 2 days."