@LurkAtHomeMom: Watch closely as the husband quietly approaches the calm children, riles them up into a frenzy, then slyly escapes to watch football.
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@KyleMcDowell86: *rolls up on dance battle* Sick moves bruh. You know who else had sick moves? Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ *hands out pamphlets*
@IamEveryDayPpl: Him: Who sings American Woman? Me: Guess Who. Him: Lenny Kravitz? Me: Guess Who did it first. Him: I don't know. Me: Guess Who. Him: ...
@SirEviscerate: Heads, you give me your phone number, tails you go on a date with me. *flips coin into ceiling fan, it's knocked out a window into the sea*
@Sean_Burgundy_: Just for once I wanna be able to say "It wasn't my fault" without 4 people breaking down why it was my fault