@michaelajeffery: Watched a guy buy several single bananas at various stages of ripeness (instead of a bunch). Realized I was in the presence of genius.
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@Robert_Beau: I like to go on job interviews wearing an eye patch and switch eyes when the interviewer looks down.
@shawnspree: Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space ~me reading Arabic DM
@realHamOnWry: Putting a light in the refrigerator is God's way of telling us that it's okay to eat before going to bed.
@TheRolo: I almost got ran over by joggers. I saved myself by pretending to be a stop light. I got away while they jogged in place.