@Mr_Kapowski: Watched an old man pay in all quarters and my only thought was "he must keep all the money he pulls from behind kid's ears"
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@Maddy_ubert: I just love it when my boyfriend comes to visit and brings me presents. He always says stuff like "stop winking and sign for this package"
@KindOfASmartass: If I don't make some serious changes to my life, they'll never let me into the gates of heaven. So who can teach me how to pick a lock?
@KeetPotato: unstable person: "when there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth" stable person: "i look after the horses"