@Mr_Kapowski: Watched an old man pay in all quarters and my only thought was "he must keep all the money he pulls from behind kid's ears"
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@abbycohenwl: Doc: The good news is this is a surprise birthday party! Patient: But my birthday's not till next month Doc:Which brings me to the bad news
@bobvulfov: KENNEDY: lets keep our affair a secret MARILYN MONROE: ok i'll sing happy birthday all sexy & weird at ur bday K: pls dont MM: *winking* ok
@TheBoydP: The best thing about eating healthy food is all the incredible food you eat an hour later because you're so hungry...
@jbillinson: "Yes Mr. Trump, I took Joe's pocket knife away and we'll get you some new tires for that limo right away, but I can't make him say sorry"