@Mr_Kapowski: Watched an old man pay in all quarters and my only thought was "he must keep all the money he pulls from behind kid's ears"
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@AristotlesNZ: Hi. We noticed you Googled "How do I keep IT from seeing my browser history" yesterday at 3:21pm. How'd that work out for you?
@CEHudspeth: "I can try" is a great response to invitations because you're not even committing to trying.
@McNevich: If there's a pistachio that's difficult to open, I'll just move right on to another because life is short and so is my god damn temper
@lanyardtwerk: Oh. This is hand *Satanizer.* Well, is my face red with the blood of innocents.
@TheToddWilliams: [interview] BOSS: How many words can you type a minute? ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean? ME: Well, like for example, pickle
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