@MooseAllain: My wife’s written “iron school uniform” on a note. She’s full of bright ideas, but to me this sounds heavy and impractical.
@Gre_Gone: [Wife finds me crying on kitchen floor]
Me: I fell & spilled honey on myself.
Wife:
Me: Will you ki
Wife: I'm not kissing your Honey Boo Boo
@intellegint: GIRLS: if your boyfriend lives in a jar with a few pieces of grass, a leaf and a little twig. Congrats, you're dating a bug.
@meatlobes: *im applying Chapstick and doing curtseys in the mirror*
*dad walks past*
*dad double takes*
*im doing push-ups and drinkin a protein snake*
@roncorning: What did you think was happening when the #earthquake hit?
COMMENTS