@Maddy_ubert: I just love it when my boyfriend comes to visit and brings me presents. He always says stuff like "stop winking and sign for this package"

@pplwtching: Watermelon: because I like to chew flavored water.

@KindOfASmartass: If I don't make some serious changes to my life, they'll never let me into the gates of heaven. So who can teach me how to pick a lock?

@KeetPotato: unstable person: "when there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth" stable person: "i look after the horses"

@KKAlThani: Next time you're not feeling hungry, tell yourself you're going on a diet in an hour & you'll unleash the starving African child inside you.