@ellieholcomb: Watched The Little Mermaid with my girl last night & realized that Aerial could be on an episode of Hoarders. : /
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@Mikecanrant: Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
@KyleMcDowell86: I don't like using the locker room at the gym cuz the guys always stare when they notice my gym bag is filled with lasagna
@joejwest: ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses