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@fillthevacuum: *watches a house fall on you*
*steals your shoes*
@SteveKoehler22: When you ask her
"Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
And she answers
"No, who wrote it?" ....
@KattsDogma: "How about we go with a gerund, but, like, maybe just half a gerund."
- How ING Bank got its name
@NikiWithIssues: I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
@benicus_rex: If you ask a police dog if he's a good boy, legally he has to tell you.
@DadandBuried: My son LOVES dogs and is TERRIFIED of them. Which is EXACTLY how I feel about my WIFE.