@goodhairperson: *watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*
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@outsidemagazine: Yellowstone visitor upset bears didn’t show (Would like park service to train them):
@primawesome: Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.
@SteveSuckington: Me: I need to sleep Ambien: do worms have buttholes? You should text your boss