@goodhairperson: *watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*
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@RandiLawson: Then there were 3 sets of footprints & God said "This is Deb. She answered my Craigslist ad & U r the one who said we should try new things"
@joe_binkley: Dad: My head hurts, it feels like wrongdad. Son: What's wrongdad? Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.
@Aerostars4Sale: SPECIAL COLUMBUS DAY SALE: For $300 you can drive one of our vans into Canada and claim you discovered it.