@sammyrhodes: Watching Dora with the kids this morning. I wish her parents would just get her an iPhone.
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@_SingleBabyMama: Me: *Reaches over, cuts up food, says "open wide" & starts making airplane noises* Guy: *stunned silence* -Single Mama on a date
@ericsshadow: My wife just texted "I'm too young to die" after they announced her United flight is overbooked.
@KoKeniSasquatch: Day 8 of quitting smoking: I have 376 gallons of blood to donate. Various types. None is mine.