@IamEnidColeslaw: watching my cats groom each other and it feels like I should be throwing money at them
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@VodkaThursday: If you don't like my selfies, maybe you shouldn't have such a beautiful friend. Maybe you aren't ready to handle that kind of responsibility
@famoushorse: customers who viewed SHIMMERING LIGHTS OUTSIDE THEIR WINDOWS, also viewed THEIR FEET HELPLESSLY MOVING TOWARDS THE DARKNESS OF THE WOODS
@fillthevacuum: "Ohhh, that's what you meant by period sex" I say, removing my powdered wig and waistcoat.