@IamEnidColeslaw: watching my cats groom each other and it feels like I should be throwing money at them
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@lilgapeach30: 8 *walks into the house with covered in mud* Me: MY LORD 8: well that's a nice way to greet me but no, just your son.
@greggjgc79: Excuse me, you with the heels that make your calves perfect, designer dress that accentuates your curves.... You have lettuce in your teeth
@_davidlucas_: If your human doesn't feed you immediately, run in front of their feet and trip them up. ~Cats, apparently.
@Home_Halfway: My wife's leaving me for refusing to stop referring to our children as my Capri Son and Capri Daughter.