@THEINBREDCAT: Watching my dad try to scroll through pictures on my phone is like watching someone trying to pet a bubble.
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@i_Lean: "Name him Mufasa, it means "king" in Manazoto. And uh, we'll call HIM Scar. Because his face." Simba's grandparents were the real villains.
@BlondAmbitionTO: On dates, if a man says the past tense of "see" as "I seen" instead of "I saw," I go to the bathroom and climb out the window.
@WigCannon: how to hot dogs: 1) "read" hot dogs instructions 2) place 5 to 60 hot dogs in warm microwave or sink 3) add 1 piece of ketchup 4( drink