@JennyJohnsonHi5: Watching my mom use an iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try and contact her dead grandma on a Ouija board.
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@Home_Halfway: DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I'm just a person, what bullshit question is this
@TheSeanBrewster: Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like "this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."