@onelongbender: Watching my son's soccer game in the cold and rain cuz I'm a good Mom. From my heated car cuz I'm not a total idiot.
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@breatheandlove: Both her name and her living situation suggests that the dwarves MAY have been referring to Snow White when they sang, 'high ho.'
@animaldrumss: Jesus: Those were the times when I carried you son Me: And when the vending machine ate my dollar? Jesus: That time you bought me a Snickers
@UncleDuke1969: *pulls up pants* Me: It feels like I've got the world's worst wedgie! Proctologist: That's normal. M: ... P: Hey... Have you seen my glove?