@junejuly12: Watching people try to find a lost car in a parking lot is oddly soothing
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@MarfSalvador: Me: *Puts on skis* I've not done this before! *Nervously pulls on ski goggles* Driving instructor: Please get out of my bed
@sofarrsogud: ME: *walks in with ball rammed into my mouth* Happeh nuh? JUDGE: Not what a gagging order means! Are you sure you want to defend yourself?
@mynameisntdave: JESUS: [picks up bread] this is my body JESUS: [picks up wine] this is my blood JESUS: [accidentally picks up his cat] this is my...cat