@dire_beard: [At a child's birthday party, holding a poorly taxidermied possum]
I heard someone likes stuffed animals!
@rolldiggity: 1. Put "Out of Order" sign on a staircase.
2. Wait until someone says, "Stairs can't be out of order!" and uses them.
3. Release the bees.
@LaLuchaNix: Spent two weeks with my grandmother and now I know why grandpa was a drunk
@dinnersruined: *hands you a marijuana*
"This one's called Air Bud. It'll make you play basketball. Also it might turn you into a golden retriever."
@dongfuture: Can you say your strengths?
“Your strengths”
No like what are they
“My legs maybe”
No, like for work
“Oh lol sorry, idk prob communication”
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