@_wangwe: Hold the door for your girlfriend. Listen to the door. Tell the door everything will be okay. Leave your girlfriend for the door.

@MrSpoonicorn: *1st time at gym* *picks up weight* how do i equip this *steps on treadmill* can i get exp on here *taps huge guy* do you sell mana potions

@PerfectPending: Please do not compare your dog problems to parenting. Your dog cannot say your name 3,258 times in a day.

@ericsshadow: If I ever run into my doppelgänger I'm going to steal his liver.

@ehchino: How do I know you're not a cop? "If I was a cop, how would I have this?" *shows police badge that just says 'Not a Cop' on it* Oh, okay good