@causticbob: Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super fun if you don't know what either of those things are.
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@AmishPornStar1: So, if he gets divorced for the third time... Does Melania get to keep the White House?
@abhorrent_wife: There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle.
@rockymomax: [moon landing] ME: the beagle has landed HOUSTON: you mean eagle? ME: (holding the puppy I snuck onboard) nope