@Illuminati_Stop: "WATERMELON" HAS 4 SYLLABLES. "ILLUMINATI" HAS 5 SYLLABLES. THAT'S PRETTY CLOSE. WATERMELON IS ILLUMINATI.
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@Try2StopME: Husband: "Lost my keys again." Wife: "It's in your Jeans." Husband: "Come on, Why do you have to Drag my family into this!"
@HelmdawgE: My signature move is asking a co-worker wearing a suit on dress down Fridays, "how did the job interview go?" in front of everyone.
@carlyken: "...until death do us part." *looks at minister* "What about a Walking Dead situation where she's a zombie? Then I can bang other chicks?"
@joeljeffrey: I skipped leg day at the gym, but don't worry I balanced it out by skipping arm day, chest day, ab day, and back day so I'm good to go.