@HatfieldAnne: Waving my hand impatiently in front of the automatic door sensor so everyone knows I am too important to wait for electricity.
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@Underchilde: You think you’re not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles.
@OneTrickTofani: "GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL" "Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse" "Oh rad bring it in"
@ValeeGrrl: Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share.
@omerwahaj: I remember the exact moment growing up when I came to know that a babysitter was not someone who sat on babies.